5 Lessons On Relationships : And How To Pick The Right Ones



The Best relationship Advice : By
Ikem Donald Nwokedi




You become those you generallyassociates with oftenly, you will become more of those you cherish and stay around, they will influence you.

I learned it earlier in life that associates and environment are too influential that corrupt environment corrupts absolutely .

I chose a friend in secondary school, he influenced my reading style which motived my reading abilities so by God's grace I took first in all the subject and was selected as the best student of the year in 2012.

 Bill Gates, the owner of Microsoft, believed in the power of associates. He joined Paul Allen, with other friends like Steve Balmer and the world most renowned software company was made.

Another great person who influenced my idea of being picky with people is Warren Buffet, he said, you should pick your associates carefully and you will drift in that direction.

 Human being work in groups and society, and each society is identified by behaviors that are unique to them. The kind of friends you keep will influence your habits.

The inverse of this statement is rare.
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It is good to choose your associates carefully. Loving people bring joy and love with them. Surround yourself with people who know your worth, and wish that you do more, be more and have more of those things that matter in life, things like happiness, freedom and peace of mind, things like knowledge, and good attitude. They are the fine sunshine who brings comfort, courage, confidence and joy like a to a flower, they make you blossom.

Pick those who make you feel worthy of success and happiness. Not those who are always complaining about everything.

You don't need too many people in your life , just the few real ones who can motivate you to go and make things happen.

 Those who can influence you positively with loving, helpful feedbacks. You need those happy and lovely people, those who enjoy meaningful relationship, who gives willingly and wish you well.

Pick associates you will be able to change place with. When you find them, then spend reasonable amount of time with them, to nurture and maintain the relationship.

Happy, picky committed and prudent individuals enjoy beautiful and meaningful relationships, and this joy and love add meaning and enthusiasm to life. Being picky in everything is crucial to successful life and relationship.

We become those we associate with most of the time. Most of our attitudes in life are those we learn from these people. What one attitude have you developed after your last relationship or the attitude you have now in your contemporary relationship, it is traceable to your associates.

Another helpful tips on choosing associates is to keep note of your associates, family and friends, old and new, keep in mind those behavior and threats you don't like or appreciate in them, then like a reversal or exchange and flip of cards, change any of those habits you don't like in other people and make sure you don't return or fall into them.

While it is good to go into meaningful relationship with those who wish you well and are always ready to help and with those you admire, it is good for you to become the kind of person you love and admire and if you become lovable to your self it is possible that someone else will fall in love with you and this will build a great relationship that brings love to life.

When you have gotten rid of these attitudes you don't like in other people at your own habits, then you will become your own best friend which on itself make you a person who other people love because for something to be lovable, it must first be loved.

Meaningful relationship with yourself and others is the first way to coming alive. Do this simple exercise : Make a list of all the behavior you don't like in other people that are morally and socially bad.

You can pick this people from your associates at work or other relationships who you don't appreciate.

Then write all of those behavior down, they are the things you hate about yourself.

 About life and humanity, they are the things that when removed from the human society to you will make things better.

Then take turns to change those habits in your life. It could be laziness, criticism, complaining, condemnation, dishonesty, arrogance and selfishness. It is said in psychology that it takes 21days to form a habit, especially when the opposite is deep rooted.

The second step you can take towards choosing and maintaining a good relationship is to learn more about your self, your attitude, your style, the way you talk and your overall posture and gesture.

This step is critical to personality building and relationship excellent for I have find that excellence in every other thing in life begin with personal excellence for this thing we call success is not a an external opinion but an internal status.

 It is a war won deep within our soul, and to win such war as personal war you must first understand and keep a continuous study of yourself.

Have you watched a movie, where you only judge the characters, the way they move, the gestures and messages they bring to life?
 I know you have.
And another thing you should know is that in your own life, you are the actor, the playwright and the most honest audience.

 In order to have a great relationship, you most play these roles. Creating your behavior, observing their consequences making positive change and this individual well known by you can be brought to life.


I have learned it in life that whatever makes us happy are the wins we make. Not money, not material possessions but the illness we overcome, the obstacles that brought about our success, the friends and families we are able to influence, all our wins, both small and big are the source of happiness.

 You must then work towards building the kind of relationship that is worth being cherished, with people worth keeping, those who make your life beautiful. A quick exercise :

1. Exermine your past failed relationships

Were they as they are as a result of your unfaithfulness, careless, dishonesty, arrogance, lack of gentleness, thank God you had such experience because it is your duty at this stage in your life to keep a vivid not of all the things that has happened, and major more on the reasons why they are ought to be blamed, then take some time to rest and after a while you can back other relationships but this time with more carefulness and avoid being the cause of such fault you found in the life of your older relationship.

If you find those faults in other people, it is a wise man step not to engage a strong bond like friendship with such a person who you see as qualified.

If you have to make a choice of one person you like to change place with, it should be your best friend.

2. Practice honest.

Honest people are trusted because what you see is what they are. Never live a lie.

Don't do or say anything that is not true.

 To your customers, friends and family.

Any one you lie to never trust you again no matter whatsoever prove you can foster.

Tale the truth. It brings freedom in two folds, one to yourself and two to others. You can enjoy people and if you can't, you will enjoy yourself by being honest.

Let your words be your bond.

The way you talk and work, every motion should communicate truth. And you can be winner of friends, your self and God's friend.

3. ‎Be Steadfast.

Perseverance is a powerful quality, it overcomes almost everything, even natural laws.

You can apply this power to your relationships by being yourself all the time.

 Being who you are known for, a friend, a brother, a sister, mother and father. Whateve

r you are to a person, it is traceable to history that relationships begin to break up when people change in playing their role and keeping to there promise.

4.  Listen to your associates.

Listening build trust and also help you to know more about who you are going along with.

It is an easy way to learn their characters and observe the difference from who they are and what you want.

 Ask questions often and make sure they are answered, within the first period of every relationship you can get all you need to know about the other person simply by listening.

 If this is the second week of your relationship with Mr. KELVIN and you haven't known everything you need to know about them, then you are doing the wrong thing.




Ask them if you want a relationship without regret, there spiritual orientation, sexual orientation, idea of the world, and past stories. Know them, but don't spam their secrecy without their permission.

5.  Give love and it keeps returning.

When you have gotten into a relationship, take it as your responsibility to devote chunks of time to this relationship, nurture it.

You should also remember that people and relationships are like flowers, when you water them they grow.

 Chat with them, give them gifts and wish them well. Maintain and cherish your relationship for they are those who help to keep your head free over the stress of daily life.

It is also helpful to know when your partner is not fulfilling this role that defines friendship and know when to quit : they are, giving gifts and wishing you well (love). Lovable people know when to quit, quiting in a relationship is a sign of love for others and yourself, to give each other chance to have a new life.

 I hope I have contributed to your knowledge, and you can find out more about relationships through reading books written on relationships, the human behavior is a great Wall to be climbed up to, as John David Rockefeller said, "I will pay any price under the sun to gain knowledge of people".

I love you for reading my blog and I will like to say, blessings. Cheers! I love to hear from you...
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